My Mine
by MaiXii
Summary: 'I hated how vulnerable he made me. No matter how hard I tried, he would always be able to coax the soft side of me. And he knew and manipulated it. He was the man I acknowledged as my soul mate. I knew my protests wouldn't last. They held no power, no matter how stern and cold my voice got. I was born to be with him and live my life with him in it, him as mine and me as his.'
1. Chapter 1

"_I heard she was hella loose._" "_Isn't she Riley's girl?_" "_Riley better not be fucking with her._" "_He wouldn't fuck with that hoe_." "_I saw her talking to Kyrie last night._" "_Riley's best friend?_" "_Yeah, and she was smiling and laughing and shit and she hugged him._"

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and running a hand through my black hair. I grab some of my teal dyed tips, opening my eyes to study them. I needed to cut them soon. Then probably let the hair dye fade out.

"Ray!" I hear. I turn to face who called my name. It was either Kyrie or Riley, and if it was Riley, I swear… My eyes narrow and I clench my teeth before turning around and continuing on my way, picking up the pace slightly. It was his fault. This was his fault. I needed to get away from him.

"_Did he call out to her?_" "_That rude ass hoe. Does she know who he is?_" "_Who doesn't?_" "_She could fuck around with all these niggas, including Kyrie, but not Riley! Wow._" "_Good. She probably got all types of shit._" "_Damn, does that mean Kyrie got something?_" "_He know better than that._"

"Rayen, you ignoring me?" Riley asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and stopping me. How did he catch up to me? Damn his height and long legs.

"Let go of me!" I growl, pushing him off of me.

"Ray, what's wrong?" He asks, looking around. He meets eyes with those who were tentatively watching, hoping for more gossip and shit about me to spread. "The fuck y'all looking at?" And with that, the crowd disperses and I cross my arms.

"You. You are what's wrong." I say, answering his previous question. This was it. No more running back to him. I couldn't take anymore. But who was I kidding?

"What? What did I do?"

"Everything!" I hiss, ready to turn around and walk away. It was his fault I was getting talked about. Everything would have been fine if he would have just left me alone. Being with him was like being suicidal. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was getting fed up of it.

"What are you talking about Ray?" He asks, grabbing my arms.

"Let go of me." I say, pushing him away. "I want nothing to do with you."

He looks at me, shocked. Did I go too far? "So… you ain't coming to see me tonight?"

"I said I didn't want anything to do with you, Riley. So no."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because now that I'm talking to this school's beloved battle rapper slash basketball player in public, I'm seen as a big hoe! They think I'm fucking Kyrie! And I can't let that shit fly."

"Why do you care Ray? You told me you were stronger than that. That you were stronger than these hoes."

"I am. But…" My voice loses it's sharp edge and I feel insecure and small. "No girl wants to be called a hoe." I hated how vulnerable he made me. No matter how hard I tried, he would always be able to coax the soft side of me. And he knew and manipulated it.

"Rayen." He mutters, hesitant to touch me. I could see it in his eyes. In those wine colored eyes I adored. The same ones that watched me fall asleep and wake up.

"Don't touch me." I repeat, my voice a little broken now. He always broke me. He was good at it. He was the only one who could do that. He was the man I acknowledged as my soul mate. I was drawn to him.

I knew my protests wouldn't last. They held no power, no matter how stern and cold my voice got. I was born to be with him and live my life with him in it, him as mine and me as his. There was no doubt about it, even as I tried so hard to deny it. He knew it too, so he used it to his advantage. Even if it was unintentional, it still happened.

"Rayen, you know how these petty females get when they see someone prettier than them. They get spiteful and jealous." He pauses. "I don't mean for shit like this to happen. It's really… gross that they think you fucking Ky, but I know you can overcome this shit."

Manipulation at it's finest. He 'knows I'm strong enough' when in reality, he knows I'm afraid of losing him, deep deep down inside of me. I'm not strong. I just bottle shit inside to keep him beside me until I can't take it anymore and push him away. To keep his embrace and love and trust. To keep everything that makes him who he is to myself. I need that like I need food, water and air to breathe.

I was so dependent of him. I needed him to live. And I hated that aspect of us, of our relationship. So I'd avoid him, but end up seeking him out. I'd tell him to leave only to be the one who brings him back to me, even closer than before. I'd telling him he's ruining me only to tell him he makes me feel better, great, happy, _loved_. He made me a contradiction. I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted him, but I didn't.

I used to be so sure of myself. "Rayen." But hearing him say my name in the softest tone killed me so sweetly. He ruins me. He ruins me and makes me feel all types of good and bad things and it made me want to give up.

"What Riley."

"I'm sorry."

Fuck. It's that right there. He takes a step forward, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. "You know I love you, right?"

"Mmhmm." I hum, wrapping my arms around his torso. He brushes some of my hair to the side, getting a better view of my face. I knew I didn't look a mess, but he could see it in my eyes. Everything on the inside that other's couldn't see or detect, he knew it just by glancing at me.

"You my girl. I know whatever you do, it's for me. All that slut shit they saying about it is wrong. You wouldn't ever do that shit to me."

"Never."

"So, don't trip off it. We both know how shit is between us, so don't worry about them people." He presses his lips to my forehead once more, bringing the smallest of smiles on my face. "Now you coming to see me tonight, right?"

"Yeah." I all but whisper. Do you see what I go through? Just a couple of sweet words slip from his mouth and I was playdough that he molded and shaped however he desired. I knew that wasn't all I meant to him. I meant so much more, I could see it, but this is what it felt like. I wasn't going to do anything to stop it either. What could I do?

Without a word, I let him drive me home, Kyrie in the back seat, the two of them loudly rapping and me sitting shotgun, smiling at the antics, as usual. Riley places a hand on my thigh and I look down at it, smiling and place my hand on top of his, as usual.

After a couple of hours for homework, Kyrie burst into my room, telling me to get ready. I give him a small nod and smile, getting up. I walk to my closet, the sweet sounds of PARTYNEXTDOOR playing from my laptop speakers. I had a wide variety of clothing. I was a model. It helped pay for bills and clothes for Kyrie and food on the table. I took care of us. I rarely bought things for myself. Most of the clothes, shoes and jewelry that I owned was bought by my beautiful agent from the photo shoots. She understood my struggle and that there was only one resort left for me if I couldn't get any money. I needed to keep Kyrie afloat. My mother's occasional forty bucks couldn't help provide us for anything. It was hard, until we met Riley. He helped us a lot too.

Before us, he painted things and sold them; he battle rapped, which gave him a lot; he also did internships. He found Kyrie alone, waiting for me to finish my shoot. I told him that it wouldn't be too long and we'd treat ourselves. It took longer than I thought, so I rush, not even changing, just shoving my previous clothes into a bag and running out of the building, almost breaking my ankle in those heels. That's when I see the 6'3" man who goes by the name as Riley, which I found out afterward, talking to my brother. Instantly, I get defensive and grab my brother's wrist.

"_Who are you?" I ask, giving him a glare. If I could take my shoe off fast enough, I could drive the heel into his eye if he tried something._

"_Riley." He says, giving me a smile. He holds out his hand and I just look at it, my expression still hard and cold. _

"_Let's go Kyrie." I say, pulling my brother away. We walk away, Riley watching before following us._

"_Wait, what's your name?" He asks, quickly catching up to my side. I give him a glare, then look back at Kyrie, who had opened his mouth to say something._

"_What did I tell you about strangers Kyrie?" I ask him, causing him to close his mouth._

"_Why you treatin me like a kid?" He asks, pulling his wrist out of my grip. "I'm a year younger than you. Chill out." I cross my arms. He was right. I did treat him like a kid, and he was sixteen. The same age I was when I took over fully. I always took care of him, but now that mom was gone, I needed to watch him extra hard._

"_Kyrie." I mutter, sighing. Suddenly, Riley wraps his arm around my shoulders._

"_You know, Ky, I think your sister works really hard. I mean, from what you tell me, lil nigga, she's all you got. She can't help it sometimes. My older brother did that to me." I push him off of me, hoping he'd fall, but all he did was stumble back. His hand grabs my wrist and my eyes widen as he pulls me to him, in an attempt to steady himself._

"_What are you doing?" I ask, pulling away from him. _

"_Hey…" He looks at me, studying my face. "I knew you looked familiar. You're were in this one magazine."_

_I look away, crossing my arms. "Yeah, maybe. We have to go now." I look back at Kyrie. "Let's go get some food, okay?"_

"_Ooh, food sounds nice. What y'all eating?" Riley asks, and I close my eyes._

We couldn't get rid of that nigga. And, after a while, we really clicked. We were the missing puzzle pieces for each other.

"You ready Ray?" I hear Riley ask and I look down at myself. Red knit bodycon skirt, form fitting black v neck crop top and black combat boots.

"Yeah." I say, walking out of my room. I stretch a bit and Riley takes me into his arms. He presses kisses on my cheek and temple until finally reaching my lips. We kiss, my arms looping around his neck.

"I'm finna body this nigga." He says, and I give him a smile.

"I know you are. Especially with Ky at your side."

"I know. My hype man a real nigga."

"Wait a minute. Ain't we missin someone? Where Hiro at?" Kyrie asks, dusting himself off. I look him over, taking in his sagging jeans with a sigh. Something he picked up from Riley, which I was trying to stop. They both needed to stop. They knew I hated that.

"No sagging in my apartment." I say, and the two boys pull up their pants with a groan. I walk over to the door, smiling as Hiro knocks.

"Forget your key?" I ask while opening the door. Hiro rolls his eyes, but pulls me into a tight hug. "I missed you too. How was seeing your mom?"

"Eh, it was alright." He says, letting me go. "I got some cash that we can split though."

"Aight. Along with that and the cash I'm finna get tonight-"

"And the guap I've gotten at my job!"

"And my modeling money."

"We can go out and handle business."

* * *

><p>"Aye girlie, what up?" I hear, a hand grabbing my wrist. I turn to face him, my eyebrows raised. The Beast. He was a battle rapper. This year, he got bodied three times. He was known for the delivery of his bars and his aggression. Not much else. We already had enough dirt on him.<p>

My red lips lifted into a smirk. "Ain't you a rapper?" I ask, tilting my head a bit. That's what I did for my little group. I was the one who got all the information straight from the source. Hiro was the one who set up the battles and Kyrie was the hype man.

"Yeah. The best." He looks me up and down. "You lookin real nice tonight ma. Why don't you-"

"I have a boyfriend. Sorry." I say, pulling my wrist from his grip. I turn around, watching him watch me as I walk off. He thought I was playing hard to get. Wow. I smirk a bit, turning forward once more, walking right into Riley's side and into his arms, knowing that Beast, or better known by his government name, Jermaine Johnson, was watching. I lift my head up, capturing Riley in a kiss mid sentence. I didn't care if he was talking to one of his various squad members and supporters. All that I cared about was the immediate circle of us. My family. All these other niggas didn't really matter in my eyes.

I pull away, his lip in between my teeth. I give him a smirk, letting his lip go and giving him a smirk. He looks into my eyes, a heated emotion clearly in them. "You tryna kill me." He mutters and my smirk widens.

"Never that." I would never want him to die. The man loved and hated. One of the reasons I grinded everyday. I'd push him away for good before I'd want him to die.

"You act like it though."

"Wassup Rayen." One of the guys say. I turn to him, giving him a polite smile.

"Aye, can I get Beast and Reezy to the stage?" We hear over the intercom.

"You ready?" I ask, a smile on my face. He keeps his arms around me, kissing me once more.

"Not yet." He says, kissing me again. I roll my eyes, pulling away from him.

"Then get ready. This is serious." I say, giving him a look. "Get on stage and kill this nigga." He gives me a smile and grabs my hand. The two of us walk to the stage, stone faced. There was no smiles when it was time for him to battle. Kyrie and Hiro flank us, Kyrie just as stoned face as me and Riley, pulling up his pants a bit. Hiro on the other hand had a cocky smirk on his face. It almost made me smile.

"Aight" Hakeem says as everyone gets situated on the stage. Hakeem was the leader of Battle Rap Nation, the group hosting this battle. "We gon get started in a minute. Let's just settle down a bit." Hakeem looks around. Riley steps forward, holding his hand out to Beast. Beast's eyes flicker to me, causing the corner of my lips to twitch upward. I must have made him so mad. Good. Riley wanted an opponent, I was just doing what he said.

"Aye, I got one request." Riley says as the two slap hands. Beast gives him a look and Riley continues. "Don't say shit about my girl." He says, his voice low and menacing. This time, I really smirk. He was so sweet. "I'll have to fuck you up." He turns sideways and points at me. "Don't say shit about her."

"Whatever nigga." Beast says, and I roll my eyes.

"He probably never seen Riley versus OG then." Kyrie mutters, shaking his head. I shrug, still smirking.

"If he hasn't, he'll learn."

* * *

><p>I never really liked sitting through other guys rounds. They were so boring to me. They said the same shit every other nigga has said: something about how they bang or the type of gun the held. But with Riley, it was one hundred percent from experience. All the bragging he does was the truth. We all knew it, but everyone else assumed that because he was still young, he doesn't understand. They just underestimated him. Tis a shame.<p>

"All yo niggas can get shot up, that's what happen when you fuck around and get caught up. Ain't nothin can stop me when I'm blasting my shit. All you gon see is yo bitch crying over you and yo dead niggas, but that's what happens when you get up here and talk slick nigga." Beast says, causing Riley to look over to me and Kyrie. Kyrie shakes his head as Riley grinds his teeth. It's been the third time Beast had said something about me under the name Bitch, which makes Riley livid. I was used to it though. What got me was that these raps weren't even good. "And if yo bitch wants some dick, tell her to hit me up, fuck boy." Beast says and Riley stops grinding his teeth, his mouth opening a bit in shock. He gives me one look, grinding his teeth again and I open my mouth, trying to form the word no but he quickly turns and punches Beast in the face. Kyrie is behind him in a second, fighting off anyone who tried to hit or approach Riley. Hiro also rushes past, helping Kyrie and I feel a hand go around my wrist.

"Step back, Ray." Hakeem says, and I shake my head, tugging my wrist out of his grip.

"That's my boyfriend in there." I say, looking at the forming crowd, people pushing past us. "I swear, niggas like him don't listen." Without another word, I push through the crowd. "Move! Get out of the way!" I shout, pushing through people.

"Who the hell are you hoe?"

"Shut the fuck up." I say to the girl, pushing past everyone. I reach my boyfriend and brothers. "Hey! Quit it!" I bark out. Kyrie and Hiro give some last punches and back away, but Riley continues. "Riley!" I shout, grabbing his wrist. He stops, breathing deeply.

"Fuck." Riley shouts, pacing back and forth around Beast's fallen body, still angry. "Shit!" I let out a breath, wrapping my arms around him.

"Get the fuck back! Nothing to see over here!" Kyrie shouts, trying to push people back.

"Yo, yo, yo! This battle is done. In a minute, we'll get on with the next one. Sorry y'all."

"Yo, someone help this dude up." Hiro says, walking over to Beast. I let out a breath pulling Riley to the other side.

"I got fucking disqualified over that nigga! I told him to keep his fucking mouth shut! Shit." Riley says, pulling away from me.

"I told you to stop worrying about what they call me." I say, crossing my arms. "You're the dude who's telling me that I'm stronger than that when people call me a slut."

"I'm gonna fuck them up too!" He says, looking back at me. "I always get back on the niggas who be saying shit about you. And when I hear that shit right in my face, I gotta retaliate immediately. I told that nigga don't say shit about you, and he gon test my patience and do that shit anyway? Like, what type of nigga gon do that! That's like me talking about his mother! I bet he gon say some shit when I speak some shit about his moms."

"Riley." I say, grabbing his face with my hands. "I love you." I say, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I love you too." He says, placing his forehead on mine. I could tell he was still mad. "I hate niggas who don't listen."

"Aight, shit been taking care of." Kyrie says, pulling up his pants. I pull away from Riley. "I swear, most niggas understand."

"Because they saw what happened to OG." Hiro mutters and Riley balls up his fists.

"That nigga…" He mutters, shaking his head. I touch his arm, calming him down.

"So, what we finna do now?" Kyrie asks, crossing his arms.

"Nigga!" Someone shouts and we all turn. Almost running toward us was Beast, his nose slightly crooked. I try my hardest not to smirk, turning my head in order to compose myself. It'd be adding more fuel into the flames.

Kyrie takes a step forward. "How this nigga wake up so fast?" He mutters.

"Must've played dead." I say back, and he chuckles, quickly covering it with a cough. Riley put his hand on Kyrie's shoulder, pulling him back a bit.

"Bruh, why the fuck did you snake me?"

"I didn't snake you." Riley says, crossing his arms. I wrap my arm around his torso, to keep the physical contact and to keep him calm. "I was right in front of you."

"Bruh, I did-"

"He gave you fair warning my nigga." Kyrie says, pulling up his pants. "There ain't no bullshit you can tell us right now."

"Kid, get the fuck out my face. Let the grown men speak." Beast says, pushing up on my brother. I turn my head, growing angry. Seeing Kyrie in positions like this made me furious.

"You not no grown man. You let an eighteen year old knock you the fuck out. Yous a bitch now."

"Lil nigga, I should-"

"Shut up." I say, pulling away from Riley. I grab the bottom of Kyrie's shirt and pull him away from Beast. I look him up and down. "I suggest you to bounce."

"You led me on-"

"No one led you on. I told you I had a nigga." I cross my arms, holding my head high. Niggas who get rejected are always so fucking salty.

"What are you talking about? I asked you-"

"You asked me what was up, and I asked you if you were a rapper. You said the best but… I guess you were wrong." I say, looking him up and down, a disgusted look on my face. "Even if I wasn't taken, I wouldn't be with you anyway. You're a lame." I say. "Now please." I wave my hand, shooing him away. He gives me another glare, his eyes then flickering to the three men behind me and grits his teeth. Without another word, he walks away.

We stand in silence, watching him go. "I'm fucking hungry." Riley says, wrapping his arm around my waist. "I want some fucking Taco Bell." We start walking towards the exit.

"Oooooh, a fucking Doritos Locos Taco sounds hella good." Kyrie says, him and Riley slapping hands.

"Their burritos are bomb." Hiro says, and I shake my head.

"Their Chalupas are the best." I say, and Kyrie makes a sound in agreement.

"Yes! That shit too good!" He exclaims, making me smile.


	2. Chapter 2

"You are a fool." I say, shaking my head. Kyrie wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm telling you Ray, shit was crazy. Riley made it to Worldstar… again." He says, chuckling. "The look on his face was murderous. You should have seen that shit. They got you yelling at that one ugly girl too."

"What ugly girl?" I ask, looking at him.

"Uh, I don't know." He mutters, shrugging. "It don't matter. She moved when you told her to shut the fuck up." He laughs.

"Rayen Mitchell." Someone calls out. I frown, giving Kyrie a look before we both turn around. I meet eyes with a girl, who was walking up to us. "I thought you were with Riley."

"I am." I simply say. I swear, if she was going to bring up some stupid shit, like Kyrie's arm being around my shoulder, I swear.

"Then what is this?" She asks, looking at Kyrie. "I don't think you know Kyrie, but she-"

"Man, get the fuck out my sister face, bruh." Kyrie says, moving away from me. "Y'all hoes always tripping off that shit. You see her with one male and she a hoe. This is my blood! We are related! She's not fucking me, that shit is nasty!"

"Kyrie-"

"What, you need birth certificates or some shit? Damn. What do we have to do to prove-"

"Kyrie." I say, stopping his rant. I was livid. I hated this school. Everything about this school made me angry and hate life. I hated what they saw me as, just because I was able to fuck with Riley and they weren't. Like, who does that? Who hates on someone for something that petty? It isn't fair.

"Nah, Rayen, these hoes need to know that you aren't like that! I'm so tired of that shit. Next person who call her a hoe is getting fucked up, I don't-"

"Kyrie." I say, grabbing his hand. "Let's go. I'm tired." I start to walk away from him and the dumbfounded girl. I was trying to keep myself calm. I don't want to get into any more drama. I just wanted to live. I should be used to being called a hoe. It was like that all the time. No matter what school I went to. I wasn't even that good looking. I guess it was just the way I carried myself.

I knew I was kinda pretty. I barely wore makeup but was still satisfied with my appearance. My skin was a smooth milk chocolate, my eyes big and brown. My nose was a little big and my lips were full. My teeth were straight and white, my smile was pretty. I wasn't too skinny, I had an ass and my boobs were a nice size. I knew all of this. I embraced everything that I came with and worked it. I guess other girls couldn't handle it, and once it got around that I was a hoe, everyone claimed to have fucked me. Which was weird because still to this day I'm a virgin. But I just turned the other cheek.

I held my head high and continued on despite the rumors. It wasn't like they were true and as long as I knew it, I didn't care. But this time, I knew it wasn't fully my fault for the rumors. I knew that it was the combined facts that I was always called a hoe by petty females and that I held the attention of Riley. Which made all the girls here childish.

"This doesn't change anything!" The girl shouts in an attempt to save herself from looking foolish. "You are still a hoe."

"I swear-"

"Kyrie!" I shout, my voice cold and stern. I turn to face him and give him a subtle shake of the head. He falls back, moving out of the way so I could look at the girl. With every step I took toward her, I studied her. She wasn't even Riley's type. But, she was a pretty girl, seemed to be mixed. "What's your name?" I ask, face to face with her.

"What?"

"What's your name?" I repeat. I was being calm and cool. I wasn't Riley, who would punch someone for a word. I was a mature female, and I would act like it.

"Erika."

"Ok, Erika." I say, crossing my arms. "I would love to have proof of my hoe activities. Because, according to you and everyone else, you think I'm a hoe."

"W-what?"

"How am I a hoe? What did I do to be a hoe?" Silence. "Exactly. You base your insults on emotions and not proof. Because, prior to your knowledge of me, I've been with Riley for a year. And I'm still a virgin. We haven't even seen each other naked, and we're okay with that. But it's okay. You can keep calling me a hoe. But keep testing my patience and you'll see." I say, turning back around. I was done here. I walk past Kyrie, who had given the girl a stank look the whole time.

"Where's Riley?" I ask, looking at Kyrie, who was beside me.

"He had some shit to take care of." Kyrie says.

"Hiro's with him?"

"Yeah." He says, and I nod. He better be talking to Hakeem and getting another battle. Maybe now everyone will have learned. "I have his keys. He gave them to me during passing period."

"Was that when he left?" I ask, and he nods.

"I wanted to go with him but-"

"You need an education." I say, walking to Riley's car.

"So does Riley! What's the difference between us?" He tosses me the keys and I catch them, unlocking the car.

"Riley's an adult. You are still a minor. And I'm your older sister, and basically your legal guardian. Speaking of that, has mom talked to you?"

"Yeah." He says, getting into the car. I also get in, rolling my eyes, and starting it up. "She said that she misses us."

"Did she say where she was?"

"Living at a friends house. She says she doesn't have any money right now, but when she does-"

"Please don't tell me you believe that Kyrie."

He's silent for a while and I almost sigh, pulling out of the parking lot. "I want to." He mutters, and I look over at him.

"Put on your seatbelt." I say, my voice as quiet as his. He listens and the two of us sit in silence.

"She said she wanted to see us today. She gave me the address." He looks at me.

"Do you want to go?" I ask, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Yeah. I miss her, Ray."

"I know, Ky." I say, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel. "Give me the address."

Within minutes, we were in a small neighbourhood. It wasn't too bad over here, it wasn't like it was a bad neighbourhood. It was just… small. I stop at the house number and turn the car off. "You coming too, right?" Kyrie asks, and I look over to him. I understood him. I used to be the same way when mom first left. I was scared and missed her like crazy. I tried to talk to her everyday, sending her text after text, barely getting a response.

But then I realized that we couldn't live on quarters and whatever mom gave us. Then we almost got kicked out of our apartment, so I had to buckle down. I lied on job applications, saying I was seventeen. I don't understand how I managed to pull that off, but it worked. I barely went to school to pay bills and get food for Kyrie. "Yeah." I mutter, unbuckling the seat belt. I didn't want to see the woman who went missing almost three years ago. I mean, she was still my mother, biologically, but I just didn't feel that way anymore. I couldn't. She left us at the worst possible time for a reason I don't even know.

Just up and left. But at least she kept in contact with us. Kyrie gets out first, me after him. He walks up to the building and rings the doorbell. I couldn't deny it, I was nervous. But I felt more angry than nervous. I couldn't help it.

We stand there before the door opens, showing my mother's smiling face. She was skinny, skinnier than the before. It almost made me angry. I could have done everything I did now with her around. If she needed help paying bills, she could have told me, instead of abandoning us. Instead, she shoved all the responsibility on me.

"I wanna go back home." I say, staring coldy into her eyes. Her smile dies a bit.

"I've missed you two." She says, and I hold back a scoff.

"Don't lie to my brother." I mutter and Kyrie pushes me a bit.

"Hey ma." He says, taking a step forward. The two hug, sending a stinging pain in my heart. The boy I've been taking care of since he was eleven and providing for since he was fifteen. I was the reason why he had swag. I was the reason why he had food to eat. But it's okay. I guess I understood. I will never take the spot of his mother, even though I basically acted like it.

The two pull away and she looks at me. "Hey Ray."

"Cassandra." I say with a head nod. That could be Kyrie's mother. She wasn't mine.

"Rayen, don't be like that." She says. This time I did scoff.

"I don't understand what you are saying."

"Rayen, you know I love you." She says, and I raise my eyebrows.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing! I just wanted to say how proud I was. I saw you in a magazine, you were beautiful."

"Thanks." I say, my voice monotonous. "Kyrie, how long are we staying here?" I ask, turning to face him.

"Ray." He says, giving me a hurt look. I let out a breath and take a step back.

"I'll let you talk. I'm waiting in the car." I say, but he grabs my wrist.

"Rayen, please. Talk to mom."

"I have nothing to say." I say, turning back to face him. "Nothing nice at least."

"Rayen, I'm sorry." She says, and I turn my eyes to her. I was so angry. I wanted to yell, scream and cry. Why would she say something like that?

"No you are not!" I shout, the anger rising in me quicker than I thought. "Don't you ever say anything like that to me!" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Rayen, I'm so sorry baby. We just… I couldn't do it. I needed a break-"

"So you leave a sixteen year old girl with her fifteen year old brother? We only lasted a week with the twenty dollars you left us with. We barely ate. I was so afraid. I thought…" I take a deep breath, swallowing my tears. I was not gonna cry in front of her. "I thought I was going to have to become a hoe to put food on the table for him! For your son! What I do is your job! I take care of him! I put all these clothes on his back! I feed him everyday, make sure he does his homework and goes to school! I make sure he has clean clothes everyday and takes a shower and cleans behind his ears, all of that shit!"

"Rayen, don't cuss at me!"

"Fuck you!" I scream. "You may be his mother, but you are nothing to me!"

"Rayen!" Kyrie grabs my arms, but I pull away from him.

"You said talk to her, so I am." I say, composing myself. I take a deep breath and turn back to her. "Why are you crying?" I ask her coldly. "You probably had it good. Don't have to worry about any kids, only yourself. Get to stay at a friends and have a grand old time. Oh, thanks for the forty dollars every once a year. I almost forgot you even gave us money. It's been so long-"

"I've had it hard too, Rayen! When your father left, there was no money! I had to struggle too! I couldn't provide for us!"

"I did." I say, turning my back on her. "I'm done, Kyrie. You can talk, I'll be in the car."

* * *

><p>"You gotta understand, bruh." Riley's hushed voice says. I roll my eyes, placing the clean dish in the dish rack. "She been taking care of you for hella long. She made sacrifices-"<p>

"So did mom!" He says, his voice hushed also. I didn't understand why they were trying to be quiet. I heard them clear as day. I close my eyes, scrubbing another dish. Sometimes, Kyrie gets on my nerves. He always glorifies her and makes me the bad guy. Like she wasn't the one who left without a word and didn't come back. But it was alright. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Not for me though. I couldn't stand her. Acting as if everything was fine and that I liked her. I didn't. I hated her. She could have stayed with us. She could have made things right. How dare she throw the whole 'I couldn't take care of you guys' but I could. And I did! I did everything she needed to. I got jobs, I put Kyrie before me, shit like that, and I didn't get one ounce of credit for it.

Whatever. As long as I know Kyrie goes somewhere in life and isn't like her or our father, we're fine. Speaking of our father, fuck him too. That's about all I have to say about that.

"But like, your mom gave up. Ray ain't ever giving up on you, bro. All the shit you got know, is a product of Ray's hard work."

"You know you be sliding money into her purse on the low." My eyes widen. All those times I thought I saved some money was from him? That nigga.

"Shhhhhhhh." He says. "If she find out, she's gonna be so mad." I let out a breath, closing my eyes and rinsing off another plate. "Man." He lets out, possibly watching me. "I swear, if you find a girl as good as Ray, never let her go."

"I don't even like girls who act like Ray. It'd be like dating my sister, and that's fucking gross. I like my girls quiet."

"Tsk, whatever man. Rayen is perfect." I hear the chair being pushed back and some footsteps. "Rayen Denise Freeman." He mutters in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist. "The prettiest name for the prettiest wife."

"We aren't even married, Riley." I say, a small smile on my face as he kisses my cheek.

"Not yet. We finna get married at the beach."

"Too sandy."

"At a beautiful park."

"Nah, kinda boring."

"At a church?"

"Too traditional."

"Where you wanna go then?"

"I wanted it to be small. Something simple. At a garden maybe." I say, rinsing off the last dish. I place it in the rack, turning to face him. "Something sweet." The two of us kiss.

"Then that shit'll happen." He says, kissing me again. "I'll find the best garden for you babe."

"Aww, I love you." I mutter, the two of us kissing again. Marrying Riley was a happy thought. I loved him so much. I knew we were going to last since we first got together. It was a gut feeling and my father always told me that us Mitchell's had good instincts. Which wasn't too much of a lie. I always followed mine, and look at where they got me.

The best boyfriend possible and a job as a model. I always wanted to model. It was one of my dreams, and being able to do it was fantastic. I had the best agent, who deserved every praise she received. I would eventually be in a position where I would be able to pay her back fully for what she bought me, but until then, I'd have to give her a little something now and then.

"Y'all nasty." Kyrie says as we continue to make out in the kitchen. Riley pulls away and rolls his eyes.

"If you should think this is nasty,you should see what I intend to do with her in this kitchen."

"Nigga!" Kyrie exclaims as I slap Riley's chest, getting up out of his chair. "Y'all take that shit to the room. I'll be in mine, doing my homework or some shit."

Riley laughs and I slap his chest again, pushing him off of me. Being trapped between the sink and Riley was slightly uncomfortable. "You staying here tonight?"

"Yeah." He says, kissing my cheek. "You know, I should move in." He says, and I look at him. "I mean, most of my shit already here. And I stay here most of the time anyway." He looks at me. "Don't give me that look. You act like you don't want me here."

"I don't Riley." I say, following him to my room.

"You the one always asking for me to come over when you wanna cuddle." He flops down onto my bed, placing a hand behind his head. "Texting me at all hours of the night, talking about 'I miss you baby, come over.'" I roll my eyes, curling up at his side and laying my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around my waist.

"You know you love it."

"I do." He says, and I toss my leg over his.

"Since you love it so much…" I mutter, tracing circles on his chest. I prop myself up on an elbow, getting a good look at him. "Why don't we-"

"Play Scrabble?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "I was thinking the same-"

"Riley, you know what I was talking about. I don't even have Scrabble."

"I think I got it in the car-"

"Riley!" I whine. He always be playing. He's the reason why we haven't seen each other naked, giving me the excuse 'we getting married soon, why don't we wait?' And it isn't fair to me. He always teases me and jokes about it, but when it comes up, he chickens out! I know it isn't lack of experience, he's not a virgin and he told me this!

"I was joking babe." He mutter, kissing me. I continue to kiss him, keeping my face close to his so he can't pull away. I will get what I want. He raises his hand up and covers his lips.

"Riley!" I whine again, pulling away and rolling on my back, away from him.

"I'm sorry Ray it's just… the kids are home."

"Kyrie isn't a kid. And I'll be quiet!"

"I doubt it." He says with a chuckle and I give him a glare. I get up, walking over to the door and closing it behind me.

"Riley Dominic Freeman, if you do not fuck me, I will be so mad!"

"Uhhhhh-"

"I am dead ass serious." I say, my voice stern.

"Damn… alright."


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't know." Riley says into the phone, running his hand through my curls, separating any tangles. "I think I'm done with rapping. I think there's only so many niggas I can punch before they just stop calling me." He waits for a while, whoever he was talking to saying their part. "Nigga, I know. I mean, shit should speak for itself. I say don't talk about my wife, the nigga going to anyway." He listens, massaging my scalp now. I close my eyes, a small smile on my face. "Why OG wanna battle?" Silence. "Man, fuck that nigga. I don't care if it'll be a good going away. I think me fucking Beast up is good enough." I hear some more voices. "Damn, that much?" He sucks his teeth. "Hell yeah, that shit sounds good. I'll body him then. Yeah. Aight then." With a click, he places the phone down, both hands going into my hair.

"You gonna battle OG again then." I ask, grabbing his wrists and turning around. I lay on his chest, my ear pressed against it to hear his heartbeat. His arm goes around my waist.

"Yeah. Nigga said four hundred! That's hella much for a rap battle."

"It is."

"And if, unfortunately, I don't body him, I get three fifty. Shit is a win win either way."

"You will baby." I say as he rubs my bare back.

"Yeah. He not better than me."

* * *

><p>"I swear nigga, I'm gettin a little paranoid." Kyrie says, looking at Riley. "I think I've been seeing the same nigga around for a week!"<p>

"Maybe it's just a coincidence." Riley says, keeping his eyes on me as I do laundry. "Like, maybe he go to our school."

"Nah, I swear I've never seen this nigga around." Kyrie says, crossing his arms. "I'm telling you some shit is up."

"Aight. Just be idle until we know what's up."

"Aight then. I'm finna go chill with Jordan." Kyrie grabs a jacket from the clean and dry clothes. "See you."

"Alright. Bye Ky. Stay safe."

"Bye sis." and with that, the front door closes. I sit down next to Riley, placing my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't want him to get worried." Riley says, and I frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think I've been seeing the same nigga Kyrie is." He mutters. "But only when I'm alone. I told Kyrie to forget about it because I don't think it has anything to do with him."

"Riley, if it's about you, then it's about us too." I say, and he pats my head.

"I love you, girl." He says, and I roll my eyes. "But, the last thing I need is for you to get hurt. So, just forget about it. Like I said, it's probably nothing."

"You say that, but do you mean it?" I ask, lifting my head and looking at his face. We sit in silence, me looking at him and him looking at the wall.

"Yeah." He turns to look at me. "I mean it." he kisses me, hiding his eyes from me. I knew he was doing that to keep stop the possible argument. I guess I had to do nothing but trust Riley.

"Alright then." I say, pulling away. "Don't get my brother killed."

"No one's gonna die, Ray." He says, suddenly angry. He gets up. "Don't say or think shit like that."

"I was playing, Riley." I say, getting up also. He lets out a breath.

"So. Putting that shit out into the universe isn't good. What you should be putting out into the universe is what engagement ring you want me to get for you."

"Riley, we're still young."

"So. We can get engaged, and we'll wait a while to get married." He wraps his arms around me, calming down. "Imma be honest, I just want to see a ring I bought around your pretty little finger." He grabs my left hand and raises it up to his face. "Imma just buy you one for the hell of it, then get you an engagement ring later."

"Riley, no-"

"I'm doing it. There ain't shit you can say." He says and I roll my eyes. Stubborn people, I swear. "I do shit because I love you."

"Then just tell me that. You don't have to do extra."

"But I love you."

"I love you too, so-"

"If you love me too, you'll let me do extra."

"I love you enough that you don't have to do extra."

"But I want to."

"Riley, stop being like this." I groan.

"You forced sex upon me, I'm forcing this ring upon you."

"I did not force you to have sex with me!"

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't."

"You did!"

"I did not!"

"You did!"

"Riley! We sound so childish right now!"

"Oh, so we're too young to get engaged but too old to argue?"

"Riley, please-"

"It was just an observation." He says, raising his hands up. "I just wanted to know."

"Stop being like this." I cross my arms. He was so immature sometimes. What did I do to have the Lord bless me with this nigga?

"Sorry baby." He says, and I sigh.

"I need to finish this housework." I mutter, looking at the basket of clean clothes. "Wanna help?"

"Or, we can try out that kitchen." Riley says, pulling me to him. His hands slide up my shirt and I close my eyes.

"I thought I forced sex upon you."

"That doesn't mean I didn't like it."

"You are too much." I say, tilting my head a bit so he could have better access of my neck. "I swear, I dislike you sometimes."

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>"Is he still there?" Kyrie asks, looking behind him. "The nigga's gone!" He exclaims, turning around fully and throwing his hands up. "I swear, you may think I'm going crazy, but I swear, some nigga is following us!"<p>

"I'm sure we're fine." Riley says, holding my hand. "We're in the middle of a mall."

"And this mall is popular." I say, looking around at the amount of people. My eyes fall on this one girl who was checking Riley out and I roll my eyes. "The girls are just as thirsty." I mutter and Riley chuckles.

"You jealous, bae?"

"Not of these hoes." I say, looking around. He places his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

"Love you too."

"Mmm." I hum, still giving a furious side eye to whoever dared stare at my boyfriend. It's like they don't see little ole me on him. Who do they think I am? His sister? Well, reality check, hoes, I'm his girl.

"I wonder if they got a jeweler here or some shit." Riley says, looking around.

"Why?" Kyrie asks and I roll my eyes.

"I'm getting Ray a ring."

"Damn, this soon?"

"Not an engagement ring." I say, wrapping my arm around his torso. "Stubborn ass over here wants me to show off."

"You're the jealous one. This just help shows that I'm yours." He says and I sigh.

"I am not jealous! I just don't like the looks you're getting."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're getting a ring still." He looks at the stores. "Ooh, Victoria's Secret. You need something over there bae?"

"No, Riley. Well, maybe some spray."

"Yess." He says, causing me to slap his chest.

"Kyrie, go get your shoes." I say, looking at him. He nods, quickly walking off. "I bet he's glad to leave."

"Yeah, he don't wanna be around your lame ass no more." Riley says, a playful smirk on his face. I slap his chest again.

* * *

><p>I fiddle with the ring, a small smile on my face. It was beautiful. It was a simple band, but it seemed as if it was woven where the diamonds were. He wouldn't tell me how much it cost, but I knew something this beautiful cost a fortune. I would make it up to him.<p>

He also made me get lingerie, so I guess modeling it for him could be his present. But I still had to do more than that. "Don't break it." Kyrie says, and I look up at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know that ring was expensive as fuck. Don't break that shit playing with it like that."

"Kyrie, it isn't gonna break."

"Expensive shit always break so you can get another one."

"How expensive is this?"

"Riley told me to keep it on the DL, soooo, I don't know."

"You just… Kyrie." I mutter, shaking my head. "You so stupid sometimes." I stand up.

"Cuz you ain't feedin me! I'm hungry sis, cook something." I give him a glare. "Please, can you cook me some food?"

"That's better. What do you want?"

"Anything." I nod, slipping the ring off and walking to my room. I place it on the dresser, a small smile on my face.

I swear, I loved that man.


	4. Chapter 4

"Riley, please." I grab his hand, looking into his eyes. "The way he was acting just-"

"Ray, please. I'm just gonna tell him he did good."

"Just leave him alone, Riley." I say. "When he said something about killing you, I got really really scared."

"Us rappers always talk about killing other niggas." Riley says, pulling away from me. "He didn't mean that shit."

"Riley, please. The look in his eyes was just… My gut is telling me to stay as far away from this nigga as possible." I grab his arm, hoping it would change his mind. We could just go. We should just leave, go home and sleep. I just felt... terrified. And Kyrie wasn't here because he had to finish a project. Hiro wasn't here because he completly cut us off.

"Can I just congratulate this nigga? Damn, Ray." He says, pulling away. He pushes me to the side a bit and I watch as he walks over to OG before frowning. I didn't understand why he was so irritated. Maybe the bright lights that were on the stage. I walk over, taking a deep breath. I swear, the closer I got to him and his crew, the worse I felt. But I still stood behind Riley, tightly gripping his hand.

"Thanks nigga." OG says, the two slapping hands. "Lost to you though. Again." OG and his crew laugh.

"Yeah, my bad. Just… yeah." Riley says, and OG catches sight of me.

"This your girl?" OG asks and Riley turns to face me, moving to the side.

"Yeah." He says, pressing a kiss to my temple. I kept my eyes on OG, trying to calm my breathing. It was in his eyes. Something was there and I wasn't comfortable with it.

"Shit, I'd beat a nigga ass to. Ain't no hard feelings man." OG says, keeping his eyes on me. "Y'all married?" He asks and I raise my hand up, playing with the ring.

"Almost." Riley says.

"Riley. I'm tired." I say, tearing my eyes away from OG. "Can we go?"

"Yeah." He says, and gives OG a look. "Aight then."

"Aight then nigga. Catch you later." I turn to OG, my stomach in knots. "Nice meetin you Miss Freeman." the tone in his voice made me grit my teeth and turn around, walking past Riley.

"What's wrong?" He asks, catching up to my strides.

"Nothing. Just full of nervous energy."

"What?"

"Nothing." I say, playing with the ring again. "Don't worry about it."

"Ray, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I say, looking at him. "It's fine."

It wasn't fine.

* * *

><p>"Aye, if it isn't Riley's girl!" I hear. I turn. Oh God.<p>

"Hi." I say, offering OG a fake but still polite smile. I guess this was the worst time to be in the mall.

"Whatchu doing in here without your man?" He asks, taking a step forward. It took everything in my not to take a step back, but I didn't. I wasn't rude or anything.

"Uhm… I wanted to buy something." I say, looking around. This man and the two guys he was with were filled with so much negativity, it rolled off him in waves. If he tried anything, I'd be terribly outnumbered. Three big guys against me... Jesus.

"You finding everything ok?" He asks, and I look at him. That was a weird question to ask. Did he work here or something?

"Uh, yeah. I uh-"

"No need to be nervous, lil lady." He says, wrapping an arm around me. I recoil slightly, from fear, and pull away from him.

"Sorry… if people see and take pictures, Riley'll be mad."

"I don't blame him. You're a pretty girl. It'd suck for you to lose him." He says, and my mouth drops open.

"What?"

"Oh, did I mess that up? I meant for him to lose you."

Oh God, oh God, oh God. What was he going to do to my boyfriend?

"How's Kyrie?" He asks and I nervously nod.

"Fine." I say, swallowing my spit. I couldn't do it. I needed to go. "I uhm, I have to go. Riley doesn't know I'm here and-"

"I understand. See you later." He says and I quickly walk away and out of the mall. OG was crazy. And I had to tell Riley he was insane.

I almost speed back home and unlock the door, catching sight of Kyrie and Riley lounging on the couch.

"That man is crazy!" I say, still shaking.

"Who?" Kyrie asks, looking at me.

"OG!"

"Oh, Lord." Riley mutters, rolling his eyes.

"I'm serious. I get a bad feeling about him! And he just said that it'd suck if I lost you!"

"What?"

"He was talking and he said I was pretty and that it would suck if I lost you."

"He meant if _I_ lost you, Ray." Riley says, and I shake my head.

"No. It wasn't some type of blunder. He did it on purpose."

"I just think you're a little shook up babe."

"Yeah, because this man has the intentions to kill you, Riley!"

"I'm sure it was just a mistake." Riley looks at Kyrie. "What do you have to say Ky?"

"I usually go with Ray's gut. But she is a little dramatic."

"What? I am not!"

"See." Kyrie says, and I cross my arms.

"Look, just calm down a bit. Come sit and watch tv with us bae."

"No, I'm fine. I have to get started on dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

"A-a coma?" I say, tears in my eyes. I grab his hand tightly, praying for him to wake up.

"Yes. We are unsure when he will wake up. He lost a lot of blood from that gunshot wound." I close my eyes, placing my head down. Oh God. "Are you your brother's legal guardian?"

"Yes. We got all of that cleared up a couple months ago."

"Alright. Just making sure. I'll leave you alone." He walks out of the room and I try to hold in a sob. I ignored everything. Especially calls from Riley. I told Riley not to mess with OG and now look! My brother was in a coma and there was nothing I could do about it! My brother got shot and lost a lot of blood. I didn't even know where Riley was, but it wasn't in this hospital. I thought we meant more than this to him. The least he could do is see Kyrie. I knew Kyrie meant a lot to him, but I guess not.

I just wish… things didn't have to end like this.

I visited Kyrie every single day. Soon, I not only got calls and texts from Riley, but Huey. He must've gotten desperate. But I wasn't going to answer anything until Kyrie woke up, and if that meant years, then so be it. I'm willing.

I barely wore the ring anymore. I couldn't wear it. Every time I looked at it, I'd feel like crying. It meant everything to me, but not more than my brother. My brother would always be my first priority. Ever since I was young, he had been on the top of that list.

Cassandra came to visit him. She didn't even know until I called her. I guess that's what happens when you aren't apart of your kids life.

I hear my phone ringing and close my eyes, letting out a breath. I really needed to finish this homework. I wanted to ignore it, but my stomach was in knots. I stood up, walking over to my phone and answering it.

First thing I heard was an automated voice telling me about the call and that it was from prison. I wondered who I knew was in prison. I accepted it, following my gut and I answer hesitantly.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ray." I hear Riley's voice breathe out and my eyes widen.

"Riley? What's going on? Why are you calling me from a prison?"

"Ah… well… it's funny, really. Uhm." He lets out a breath. "They think I tried to kill Ky."

"What!" I shout, my eyes wide. He would never.

"Yeah, crazy right? But… yeah. Uhm… they gave me life."

"Life! But you didn't do it!" I say, tears filling my eyes. They gave him life. I didn't know any of this because I was too busy ignoring him and Huey. Because I was angry. But he was dealing with much worse. The man I loved was going through horrible things and I wasn't there. I could have proved them wrong! I could have changed this!

"Yeah, I know. I think it's because Kyrie's a minor. Huey thinks it's because I'm black. I should have listened to your gut."

"Oh God." I breathe out, tears falling from my eyes. "This is my fault. I'm so sorry Riley, I-"

"Nah, it's not. I understood you were mad. I just… kinda wish I could kiss you right now, you know? I missed you babe."

"Oh God Riley." I cry out, unable to stop. This was my fault. I was such a horrible girlfriend. I was terrible.

"Don't cry. Just… me and Huey are working on a way to get a retrial. We'll get me out of here babe."

"I'll do anything I can to help, Riley." I cry out, wiping my face. "I'm sorry I was being such a shitty girlfriend. I wish-"

"Don't worry about it babe." I hear a couple words in the background. "I wasn't even talking for that long! Man, this some bullshit." More words. "Ok, a couple of seconds. Just hold on. Hello?"

"Yes?"

"Rayen Denise Freeman, I love you so much."

"I love you too Riley." I say, in between tears.

"I gotta go. They're kicking me off this shit. Come see me?"

"Of course. I love you."

"I love you too baby. Bye."

"Bye." I cry. Without another word, there's a click and I drop the phone away from my ear. I let it drop to the floor, and I start to sob. I couldn't stop. How dare they think he did such a thing. Riley would never do that to Kyrie. It was plain and simple who did try to kill him.

* * *

><p>"Since Kyrie was unable to testify, he was guilty. The blatant racism in the courtroom was evident. The only way we can do this is if we can get a retrial after Kyrie wakes up."<p>

I wipe my face, holding Riley's hand tightly as Huey spoke. "We can't bail him out or anything?" I ask, my voice shaky.

"No. Bail is before the giving of the sentence." Huey says. "There was no way we could have raised bail in time. The amount of money was too high. We just need to work on this retrial."

I place my head on Riley's shoulder, tears still slipping out of my eyes.

"I wouldn't want you to pay my bail anyway, Ray. You already got to pay for Kyrie's hospital bills."

"I would have done it." I say, letting him stroke my hair. "I would have done it because I love you so much."

"I'm sorry it ended up like this babe." He mutters.

"It's my fault. You would have never been in this mess if I would have answered my phone. Or if I wouldn't have been your girlfriend. You wouldn't have had a reason to attack OG and this would have never happened."

"Aye, don't say shit like that. I'm in here for my actions. You don't tell me to do stupid shit, like the things that got me in here. I wish I listened to you more. I guess that's on me." He wraps his arms around me. "It's my fault I'm in here, you know? And we'll get me out."


	6. Chapter 6

He had been telling me the same thing for three years. I almost lost hope. But to keep my mind off of it, I got more jobs, along with modeling. I needed to pay for hospital bills and little things for Riley when he came back. Me and Riley talked every day, and got to hug and kiss each other once a month. It was depressing seeing him as an inmate, but I knew that everything would work out.

"Add this letter to Kyrie's collection." Riley would say, handing me an envelope every month. He started that the very first day I went to visit him with Huey. He said that when Kyrie woke up, to give all of these to him and to not read them. Which I agreed to.

"Is that a gray hair I see, Ray?" He playfully asks, touching the glass. My eyes widen, and my hands fly up to my hair, balancing the phone between my ear and chin. We had to sit in one of those cliche jail visitation stations, with the glass and phones, all of that. It was alright, I guess.

"No!" I say loudly.

"I was joking baby." He says, laughing. "You work yourself so hard."

"I do it for you and Kyrie. Once we get you home, I want you to be comfortable, so I bought you all types of things."

"Ray."

"I want to Riley. I love you."

"...Ray, I don't think we'll be able to get a retrial for me." He says and my smile fades quickly. "I mean, Kyrie's going to wake up, but I don't think the court is going to let me have that retrial."

"Riley, don't say that. You're putting negativity out into the universe."

"Rayen, I've been thinking-"

"Don't think of stuff like that Riley." I say, my throat tightening up and my eyes tearing up.

"Ray, you have to move on. I can't keep holding you back. You need to find a good man and get married and have kids."

"You are that good man, Riley! Why would you say that to me?"

"Rayen, I don't think I'm getting out of here."

"Riley-"

"I'm serious Ray. And I know it hurts, but-"

"Riley, what happened to us getting married?"

"That was when I still had hope, Ray. I've lost it all now."

"Well, I have hope! I think everything will work out."

* * *

><p>"Oh my God! I can't believe it! Thank you!" I say, a huge smile on my face. I hang up the phone quickly and dial another number. "Huey, Kyrie is waking up!"<p>

"Really?"

"Yes! I'm so glad he isn't in a permanent coma or whatever. And they say he's not brain dead. He just needs some rest and he'll be fine!"

"I'll tell the court and we'll schedule that retrial."

"And I'll go tell Riley!"

"Ok. You might have to wait tomorrow, because I don't know the visitor times."

"I'll try anyway. If there are none, I'll go tomorrow." I say, trying to compose myself. All that praying I did for the two of them was worth it. We'll finally get Riley out of prison and I'll have my family back again.

I burst into the prison, a wide smile on my face. "Ma'am, visitor hours are almost done."

"How many minutes do I have left?"

"Twenty, ma'am."

"Oh, I won't be long. Please!" I say, walking up to the desk.

"... I guess. Who is it?"

"Riley. Riley Freeman. I'm his wife." I say, still trying to contain my joy.

"Freeman…" He says, and I look at him. His face was stone and it struck me cold.

"Yes." I breathe out. I clear my throat, all of the joy being sucked from me. "Is something wrong?"

"Hold on for a minute." He says, getting up. I watch him walk to another room and let out a breath. What was going on? After a couple of minutes, he comes back, a sheet of paper in his hands. "We found this next to the body. To a Miss Rayen Freeman."

"That's… me." I say, breathless. Next to the body… "Whose body?"

"His body. Your husband's, Miss Freeman." He holds the paper out to me and I take it with shaking hands. I skim over it with tears in my eyes and bite back sobs.

"No!" I scream, falling to the floor. "No, no no no." I sob. He wasn't. Why would he do this to himself? To me? To Kyrie? To Huey? Why would he do this?

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Miss Freeman."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey Ray." Kyrie says, as I walk through the door. I give him a small smile. "Damn… you look old."

"Hey!" I say loudly, crossing my arms. "I'm only twenty one."

"Swear? How long have I been out?"

"Three years, Kyrie."

"Woooah." He breathes out, looking around. "Damn, that's a long time."

"Yeah. I've missed you." I say, grabbing his hand.

"Tsk, you had Riley." I inhale looking away and letting go of his hand. He didn't seem to notice because he continued. "Speaking of that nigga, he not here now? When he coming to see me?" Without a word, I open my purse, pulling out the stack of envelopes. Thirty six. Three years worth. "What's this?"

"Read them." I say, placing them on his lap. I watch as he opens the first one. He reads in silence, a frown on his face.

"Riley in prison? When he coming out?"

"Read, Kyrie." I say.

"We gon visit him after this right?"

"Kyrie." I mutter, looking around.

"Imma take that as a yes. Remember you promised me." I look down, closing my eyes tightly to stop any tears. He continues to read, getting to the thirty second before saying something. "Man, Riley so depressing man. We gotta see this nigga."

"Ky-"

"Yeah, I know, I know. Read. I'm almost done." He continues, a slow frown forming on his face as he gets to the last one. "Hold up. What? 'I'm sorry I care for you and your sister a lot... once I met you two, everything I did was for you guys, I love y'all… I'm sorry bro, I just can't hurt… your… sister anymore… She's working herself to death… I can't see her like that… I think… I'm done?' What's he talking about, Ray?" Kyrie asks, looking at me. I look up at him, tears falling from my eyes.

"Kyrie-"

"Rayen, what is this nigga saying? He sound stupid as hell, and you the only one who can understand him when he say shit like this."

"Kyrie, he…" I take a shaky breath and swallow. "He uhm, killed himself."

We sit in silence. "You are not funny. You bring me some clothes, because we need to go-"

"Kyrie, I'm not playing." I cry out, the tears falling faster. I pull the letter I got from the officer three weeks ago out of my purse. "He…" I wipe my face, trying my hardest to stay composed.

"Ray, please." Kyrie says, his voice broken. "Please don't tell me that. I don't wanna hear it. I just woke up. Please Rayen, please." I could hear the tears in his voice and I couldn't take it. I cover my face, trying to keep my sobs to a minimum. I could hear his silent cries.

"He's so fucking stupid!" Kyrie shouts. "That nigga always thinking he doing something right, but he really fucking up! How stupid is he! I hate that nigga! I hate Riley! I can't fucking stand that nigga! He's so selfish!"

I don't respond, keeping my eyes closed. "Why did he do this to us Ray?" Kyrie cries out. "Why would he do us like this? Why are we always getting left?"

* * *

><p>I close my eyes, my hands shaking in front of me and silent tears pouring from my eyes. I was such a mess. I cried day and night and I couldn't stop.<p>

"Uhm, Riley was my ni- best friend." I hear Kyrie say. "I was in a coma, so I didn't get to say goodbye or anything. Uhm… He helped me a lot. He was like my older brother. I knew that he cared for me and my sister a lot. Uhm, he was my role model. It was crazy how much I looked up to him. And he treated my sister right. You could see it in his eyes, he uhm…" Kyrie's voice cracks a bit, and he clears his throat. "That he loved her. And I knew that she loved him too. They were gonna get married, but…" He clears his throat once more. "He passed on. And it kills me. To know he's in that casket. I…" A tear falls from Kyrie's eye and he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but I'm done." Without another word, he walks off the podium and to his seat. I close my eyes and wipe my face, slowly getting up.

I walk to the podium, taking deep and calming breaths. "I'm Rayen, Kyrie's sister and Riley's girlfriend." I say, my voice slightly trembling. "Riley was my soul mate. There was no doubt about it. Once we got together, I could feel it. I thought we were going to go far, but God had other plans. And, I can accept that, it's just… really really hard." I say, tears welling up in my eyes. "I love Riley, so much. He was my everything. He kept me going on and I can't…" I let out a shaky breath, tears falling from my eyes. "I don't want to live without him. I love him so much. I will miss him so much." I say, closing my eyes. I wipe my face. "Thank you."

Riley wrote me the most beautiful letter before he passed.

'_Dear Mrs. Rayen Denise Freeman, my beautiful wife._

_You know I love you, right? Like, I love you so much it's crazy. No other girl can compare to you. I want you to stop working so hard. Don't buy me anything else. Don't do anything else for me. You do enough by just blessing me with your beauty everyday. I'm sorry I was such a burden baby. From the very beginning of our journey together, I was pestering you. When we first met, I remember thinking 'Damn, if I could get with her, I swear I'd make her my wife.' I'm sorry we didn't get married. But you'll always be my wife. No matter whoever you move onto, I'll always think of you as my girl. I wonder if God has binoculars in Heaven cuz I'm gonna keep an eye on you and Ky, make sure you don't end up with some bum and Kyrie doesn't become some bum._

_You deserve so much better than me. So I pray you move on after you get this. I don't want you stuck on me, you know? You're too beautiful to be stuck on a dead nigga like me. I'll be lonely up there, but I'm gonna be creepy and watch you for as long as you live. And when it comes your time to peacefully go and turn into a beautiful angel, imma be the first one to see you. I'm sorry it turned out like this. I couldn't watch you struggle for me anymore._

_I love you baby._

_-Riley Dominic Freeman, your sexy husband.'_


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm gonna miss him." Huey says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nod once, my silent tears falling from my eyes. I couldn't stress to you how much I was a wreck. Kyrie was too. I was afraid he'd end up harming himself or others. "I'm glad you came and met Granddad. He always complained at how Riley would go off at all times of the night for some girl."

"Sorry about that." I mutter, chuckling a bit. I wipe my face, taking a deep breath. "Can you… tell me what he's said about me and my brother?"

"He didn't really talk about Kyrie as much as he did you." Huey says, taking the seat next to me. "But, he spoke about you all the time. I remember once, he called me up while I was still away at college and was raving about how he met the best girl in his life. He said he would do anything to keep you happy. He went on and on about how you were a beautiful model and how much he was in love with you. Then he said that he was afraid to show you off because he knew you'd leave him." I exhale. I would never leave Riley.

"I remember him calling me too." Mr. Freeman says, Huey getting up to help him sit. "He went on about how you were his soul mate. Which was surprising to me, because when he was younger, he would go on and on about how he hated women and called them hoes. But then he went out with this one girl, I want to say was his first love and his whole attitude changed. He changed completely. He became more mature. He did a lot for this girl. He became a better man for this girl."

"Her name was-"

"Celeste." I say, nodding. "He told me about her."

"Yes. But she just up and left." Mr. Freeman continued. "Now, he may not have shown it, but I knew he was devastated. You could see it in his eyes. But he kept on doing the things he did when she was with him, because he found out he enjoyed them. She may have made him that better person, but he made it his mission to keep on doing that. Then, one day, he gets into an argument with me and instead of making things worse, he leaves. This turns out to be the same day he met you and your younger brother. He comes back after being with you the day after, apologizing to me and telling me he met some perfect people. I remember talking to him, and I remember telling him 'you don't think she's just using you?' and he gives me the most offended look. Now, it's nothing against you sweetie pie, I was afraid that it'd be another thing like how it was with Celeste. Riley was taking up several jobs and barely coming home for you and I was worried." I nodded, understanding. "He said he never wanted to see you struggle and that he's never loved someone as much as you did. And when I visited him in jail a day or two before he… ahem, he told me everything. He told me about everything. He said he couldn't see you like that, stressed with bags under your eyes. Working hard for him and your brother. He told me he didn't deserve it. He told me that he didn't deserve you." Mr. Freeman clears his throat, his voice cracking.

"You don't have to say anything else Mr. Freeman."

"What Riley told me was that he felt as if he was done. And I when I asked him what he meant, he said that he felt as if he was done on this earth. He went on to tell me he had never really believed in God until you, and that he knew that having you came with a price. He thought that his life was his payment, and that he had to go. He cried then. I hadn't seen him cry since he was a little kid." Huey says, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "He said he couldn't bear leaving you, but he knew that if he stayed, things would continue to go wrong. He saw the man who was following him as an bad omen. An omen that his days are numbered."

"The man… in black?" Kyrie asks, and I turn to face him. He's been silent this whole time. "He's been following me too." He wrings his hands, slightly nervous.

"Riley was paranoid." I mutter, shaking my head and fighting back tears. "That guy wasn't an omen, he was one of OG's members." I whisper, my voice trembling. "It wasn't anything… like that, it was-"

"Ray, regardless of what you think… that's how it was for Riley." Kyrie mutters and I close my eyes tightly, my hands going onto the table.

"Why didn't I know? How could I have sat there with him when he's felt like this? I needed him and it was my fault that-"

"Sweetie pie, please." Mr. Freeman says, placing his hand over mine. "I know it's hard, but it isn't your fault. You cannot read minds."

I shake my head. It was my fault. I lost him. I never knew how empty my life was without him. I always feared that I would lose him to another girl, but this… this is much worse. I'd rather him reject my love and leave me than this.

"In a letter he wrote me that was given to me after his passing," Huey starts, lowering his head. "He talked about nothing but omens. Bad omens. He said that everywhere he went, he was being watched by the same man. A man in black, like Kyrie says. He said he felt as if God was talking to him, telling him that it was time." I bite my bottom lip to keep from sobbing. "Whether it was just hysteria and paranoia or how he felt about it… it happened."

"I'm so sorry." I cry out, the sobs bursting from my mouth.

"Rayen, please don't." Kyrie says, placing a hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't stop crying. He felt this way because of me. He went crazy because of me. It _was_ my fault, no matter what people. All of this. If we wouldn't have ever seen each other. If only I would have pulled Kyrie's wrist once more, continuing to treat him like a child with or without Riley, none of this would have happened. This whole thing was my fault.

And now; Mr. Freeman was in tears, a lone one slipping down his cheek; Huey's head was lowered, his eyes tightly closed to keep from showing emotion; and Kyrie had me, a hysteric almost widow, in his arms, trying to soothe me with calming words.

But it wouldn't work. Nothing would. I felt terrible. I ruined someone's family. I ruined someone's life. I ruined mine.

How could I live without Riley?

… I don't think I can.


End file.
